Read:
James 4:1-10
Unfortunately,
many Christian homes are full of conflict rather than peace. This could be because many believers focus on
the minor issues, overlooking the major ones such as love, kindness, and
forgiveness. Today’s passage applies to relational
conflicts, whether in the church, at home, at work or at school. The overall idea can be summed up as this – we
are selfish people who need to submit to God through repentance, humbling
ourselves before Him. James gives us three
clear steps when it comes to conflicts.
We will look at two today and one in the next devotional.
First, when
in conflict, look at your own selfish motives (v. 1-3). James is saying that we shouldn’t point
fingers at others with blame but rather that we should look within, at our own
personal selfishness. A big first step in
resolving personal conflicts begins with taking a long hard look at
ourselves. This includes asking Jesus to
show us where we need to take responsibility for wrong attitudes and actions,
however small they may be. We all have
the tendency to seek our own good rather than doing what’s best for
others. The same is true in prayer -
James mentions how people tend to pray selfishly, revealing motive issues. In
relationships, selfishness will always lead to conflict. The decision to put to death selfishness is
not optional for believers.
Second, to
resolve conflicts we must submit to God, resist the devil, and repent (v. 7-10).
This will require forgiving others and
asking for forgiveness when we have done wrong.
James writes, “draw near to God
and He will draw near to you”. We
cannot be close to God and hold all sorts of bitterness, forgiveness or anger
towards someone else. If we think that
we are near to God yet we harbour bitterness, jealousy, unforgiveness, anger,
etc. towards someone then we have deceived ourselves. Repentance is part of the process of drawing
near to God. This takes much
humility. Pride is at the heart of all
disobedience and much of our relational conflicts. God opposes the proud but give grace to the
humble (v. 6). When James writes, “Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify
your hearts, you double-minded. Be
miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and
your joy to gloom,” he is talking about thorough, heartfelt repentance for
selfishness, pride and all other sin!
Prayer and Journaling
1. Ask
the Lord to bring to mind a relationship issue that you are dealing with. Then, ask the Lord to show you ways where you
have been acting selfishly in that relationship. Confess and commit to doing what is best for
others.
2. Think
about the relational problem you prayed about in question 1. Ask the Lord to show you if you have any
wrong attitudes (unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, etc.) that you need to
repent of today. Confess if necessary.
3. Pray
that you will grow in humility and selflessness in your personal
relationships. Ask the Lord to give you
an encouraging word about how this will build positive relationships. Pray for your life to exhibit love for
others.
